hot cooling sensation

who would have thought that sitting on a bench in the park for 2 hours or so would result in a huge mosquito bite on my left ass cheek? it's 1 & 1/2 inches in diameter (that's right, i measured it), red as rudolph's nose, and so unbelievably itchy :( i usually slap rather than scratch my bites but today i just couldn't stand it...i went into the bathroom, pulled down my pants and set my nails on the fucker. ohh, it felt soooo good i had to close my eyes. grandma said, "they say the best thing you can do to treat mosquito bites is to rub salt on it." just plain salt?!? or do i have to add water first?!? wait a minute, it was hot enough today for me to sweat...an ass is pretty fleshy...rubbing salt on myself seems too much like seasoning. we had a bbq today and i saw them marinating plenty of meat (also using salt!), so ultimately i opted not to take her advice :) i would take a pic of this red lump to share with y'all, but that wouldn't be very tasteful now would it?

Movie Recommendation: Dr. Strangelove
Medicinal Recommendation: White Flower Oil (my back and shoulder was paining me all last week and rubbing some of this on it did wonders! it has also rid my ass of all itchiness. maybe salt would have done the same...dot...dot...dot...you let me know)