a pic of my balcony from several weeks ago. they've worked on it since then and although it looks close to being finished, nobody is getting their hopes up. at least the drilling isn't right outside my window anymore.
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manesh came to visit me on tuesday. that boy is bad news...at least for my lungs. we smoked and talked on my "indoor patio" set-up, walked to the gas station to buy cigarettes, smoked on the bench outside, back in here, and then finally to mcdonald's for a nourishing snack before bed. finishing 1/2 a pack in several hours is something i haven't done in ages. i've had enough! the thought of going a mere day without a cigarette scares me, but tonight there's extra courage running through my veins so it is here i make a stand. "i'll slowly wean myself off it. limit myself to 4 a day then reduce it to 3 a day after a week then 2, and so on..." obviously, that didn't work. why not just stop completely? yes, i'll go mental and be a complete bitch to everyone around me but it's worth it in the end right? it'll be a test of my will power. what about the anger, the tears, the frustration, and the cravings? oh bah...just give'r!
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